eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
