Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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