well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
