FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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