shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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