IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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