Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
