took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sorry about my life...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
