he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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