So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
