KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
