HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize