Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
even my farts smell like vagina
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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