I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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