he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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