Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
