I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
