who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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