my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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