when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
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