I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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