Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
