its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
