i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
