im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
