I didn't shave. On purpose
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
