i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
