Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the day after is always just damage control
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
