You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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