I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
