Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
