Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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