I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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