im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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