No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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