I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
