His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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