look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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