Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
