oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just high enough for therapy.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
