I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
