I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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