I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
