I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
