Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
