dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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