I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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