guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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