lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She even gives head with a lisp.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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