Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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