You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am one with the molecules
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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