that's an acceptable place to lick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
