she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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