there's paper in my vomit.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
