GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
