he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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