And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
