I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
His nipple licking is glorious
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