This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
