Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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